How to Say “No” or Renegotiate Deadlines
Saying “no” can be important in maintaining our well-being in demanding contexts, positions, and roles. If you are balancing multiple priorities, saying “no” or renegotiating deadlines can help you manage some of the challenges of competing demands.
If you aren’t used to saying “no” though, it can feel overwhelming or even rude at times. It can be hard to say “no” when you feel pressure to meet someone else’s expectations, if you’ve been taught to favor politeness and selflessness (as many of us have), or you are used to avoiding conflict or have not had a chance to practice conflict previously. But saying “no” has some great benefits including being able to produce meaningful, higher-quality work instead of more surface-level multitasking; building clear communication skills around your capacity and boundaries; and maintaining your well-being by avoiding over-work, burnout, and physical and mental exhaustion.
You are the best judge of how someone’s request or expectation may impact your well-being, making you the best person to advocate for your own capacity. How you say “no” and the degree of flexibility you have to say “no” has a lot to do with the context of the ask. For example, navigating expectations with a course or job may require a different approach than declining a social engagement, where concern might be more about being perceived as rude.
Check out these different ways to say “no” or renegotiate a deadline that can be adapted to a range of different scenarios.
Renegotiating a deadline
“I can’t do that by Friday, but I could definitely get it done by next Wednesday.”
“This week is tough for me. Could we move that conversation next week?”
“I have a lot going on personally. Would it be possible to get an extension on this deadline?”
“I misestimated by capacity. When do you need that by, and is there wiggle room?”
The Counteroffer
“I don’t have time this week to meet. Could I connect you with someone else who can help you?”
“This sounds exciting – do you have flexibility on your timeline?”
“I can’t be a full member of the team, but I could read your proposal and give feedback.”
“Can I have some more time to consider this ask? I can’t commit without thinking about it further.”
Thank you, but no
“I won’t be able to but thank you so much for considering me.“
“I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to squeeze this into my current schedule.”
“I’ve been feeling a bit overworked lately so I will have to decline, but thanks for thinking of me.“
“I really want to be able to help, but I don’t have the bandwidth this term.”
“I appreciate your offer, but I am good at the moment.“
“Unfortunately, I have another obligation. Thank you though!"
More direct
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“No thank you.”
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“I’m not looking to do that at the moment.”
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“I’ll go ahead and pass.”
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“Apologies, but I can’t make it work.”